Many of our patients who suffer from vaginismus suffer in silence. Most do not share their problems with anyone – not even their family members. I have always felt that sharing their story would help set them free and that they would then have the support and understanding they need. I have often recommended to my patients that they buy “When Sex Seems Impossible: Stories of Vaginismus and How You Can Achieve Intimacy” by Peter T. Pacik, MD and give it to their family member and tell them “This is me. Please read this book and you will understand.”
I am always delighted when a patient has the support of a family member. A supportive parent or parents or sister or aunt goes a long way in helping to provide post-procedure support.
On our VaginismusMD Forum, an aunt of one of my treated patients writes the following concerning her experience as a witness to the Botox treatment program of her niece
“This is not my success story but that of my niece. I will not get into her back-story. She is a member of this forum and that is hers to tell if she chooses. I want to tell you about what I witnessed. My niece diagnosed herself, found Dr. Pacik and set up this procedure on her own. Her mother, her boyfriend, her brother and I went to NH with her. Her brother stayed at the hotel while the rest of us accompanied her to Dr. Pacik’s office. He encouraged us to be in the room with her during the procedure. She said that was what she wanted so we scrubbed up and went in, sitting at a discreet angle, of course. I won’t get into detail but what I saw that day affected me deeply. It was a very intense experience and up until that point I did not know the full magnitude of what she was dealing with. She was tough and came through it like a rock star and her boyfriend was truly stellar in his support of her. She is having great success now and is happy as she can be. This experience has changed me profoundly and all I want to do is help encourage others who are considering this procedure or are perhaps hesitant. Dr. Pacik is a truly warm individual who really cares about his patients. During the procedure he turned to us periodically to explain what he was doing and why and he kept us all very involved in my niece’s treatment. He will put you at ease immediately and put your fears to rest. Everyone at his office was wonderful and supportive and went out of their way to make us all feel involved and secure. This procedure has given my niece the opportunity to become a mother in the future. Who knows what her future would have been without this treatment? Thank you, Dr. Pacik, for giving my niece her confidence back!”
And, in a recent June 2013 post, the treated vaginismus patient writes:
“Just wanted to share the news I’m 5 weeks pregnant, and will be going in for my first appointment, which will be the transvaginal ultrasound, sometime within the next 2 weeks. I could not have done this without Dr.Pacik! Thank you for helping me through my problem and allowing me to be blessed with a baby :)”
Following is another post from a father of a recent patient. Even though I do not get many fathers in the role of supportive parents, when I do, it is always a pleasure to work with them. I was touched with the sincerity of the following post on our Vaginismus Forum.
My dear daughter had a problem, but it was a secret for years, she complained that she couldn’t use a Tampon, and everyone else could. What was wrong with me??? We took her to a world renowned Gyn, who performed a hymenectomy and told her she was fine. She was told, ” go get some help, see a Psychiatrist”!! We did and no results! She found a psychologist who helped her somewhat, but not enough! My daughter decided to research her issues and found vaginismus. She found her problem and opened up to my wife and I.
We found Dr. Peter Pacik and after multiple conversations and consults with my wife and I, and then with my daughter separately, off we were to Manchester, New Hampshire.
I am in medicine as well, and in 30 years I have never met a man with the qualities Dr. Pacik exhibited. He spoke to my daughter privately and in our presence. I was asked to be present in the OR for support and to become educated on her problem. During the procedure, he explained every step to my daughter and educated me on what a burden she carried. Step by step my daughter was reassured “SHE WAS NORMAL”, normal anatomy, normal feelings and a very spastic vaginal muscle. He informed me of each injection of long acting lidocaine, the amount and location of Botox (Dr. Pacik is the only physician with FDA approval for the study of the use of Botox in treatment of vaginismus). A dilator was placed from smallest to largest based on resistance!
Procedure Complete!
My daughter was taken to recovery where her care was just as exceptional. Upon awakening, her education and treatment continued. The counselor (Dr. Pacik) began working with his patient, reassuring her of how well she did and how well she would continue to do. The discussions were intense and extremely detailed.
The things a father will do for their children
Once we got beyond the snickers and jokes (mostly mine), I realized my daughter had a glow and sparkle in her eye, I had not seen in a long time! I could see it was her self-esteem and her self-worth. After multiple self-treatments with different dilators, my daughter knew she was like everyone else, she just needed that little extra intervention.
I am a very sensitive man, sensitive to all people and their plights, however, my sensitivity reached new levels seeing my daughter’s eyes, her smile and her ability to open up to me, her father!
My baby has a boyfriend who I give an abundance of credit to! Most boys would run, run to the next one, he understands and continues to show his support. I can’t wait to meet him!!
I have never seen a physician exhibit so much passion, warmth, understanding for his patients. His need to succeed, not for himself but for the young woman he sees is evident in the amount of time he spends, failure is not an option.
Vaginismus, as big as Erectile Dysfunction, and no one knows… WE MUST GET THE WORD OUT, ITS NOT JUST A DAUGHTER BUT SOMEONE’S MOTHER, OR GRANDMOTHER! THESE WOMEN DESERVE A CHANCE AS WELL
Thank you Dr. Pacik, and your amazing staff!!!!
Postscript from the above patient
6 days after I had the Botox treatment with Dr. Pacik, I was able to have full intercourse with my boyfriend, with very little pain. Today, only 10 days later, I am using a tampon with my period. I truly never thought any of this was possible! I couldn’t be more thankful to have such supportive parents and more thankful to have found Dr.Pacik and Ellen and the rest of his team! Thank you so so so much!
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