In one of the previous blogs I wrote:
“We need to start thinking out of the restrictive box of what should be, and simply enjoy our natural feelings and to be grateful that we can fulfill this part of ourselves. Making love can be as simple as hugs and kisses before falling asleep. It can be dance. It can be as simple as doing the dishes together. Simultaneous orgasm is actually fairly rare. It is wonderful when it happens, but should not be a goal. It will limit us too much. Vaginal orgasm is accomplished by only 30% of women, and this too is not a definition of good sex.”
A patient responded with the following comments:
“This is so, so true. I feel like we had legitimate intercourse on 7/4 and this will always be our sexversary. However, I feel like the first time that I enjoyed it the most was the first time we made love in a hotel. This was so, so special for me and I remember crying so many tears of joy after this. Vacations for us are really a time to slow down and re-connect. When I had vag, I used to pack this sexy outfit for our trip somehow just believing and praying so hard that it would just magically happen and this time would be different. For years, every hotel stay was filled with my secret tears in the bathroom when this didn’t happen. Then, when it did and it was just so wonderful, it’s such an emotionally charged and indescribable feeling!!!! He cried too (shhhh)!”
“As for the mutual orgasm at the same time, we’ve never been able to accomplish this. It sometimes takes a little work for me to loosen the whole feelings of control and finally let go, so I usually end up going first after a little work (still enjoyable work). Then, he goes right after. One time, we were close to having it at the same exact time. I think it would be so fun if we did. As for the being able to achieve a vaginal orgasm, I could never do this for quite a while after the procedure. Then, around the holidays, it happened alone with solely penile penetration and no touching and felt really, really good. It now happens off and on but I still love all the fore-play that goes along with the actual intercourse. And, I can’t tell you how much we both LOVE that my legs no longer tense up at all.”
Great Sex after Vaginismus Treatment
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